equality?

It’s easier to admit you’re a fucked up person than pretend like everything makes sense, every downfall has a meaning and madness is a non-apparent thing which actually consumes your soul every goddamn day. It’s true though, people are going to hurt you. But don’t leave it out like a one-sided story. When you flip a page, you can become the asshole in the story. It just is inevitable. Time heals, but not everything. Pain does not entirely end, it only becomes a bit more bearable. We remain hurt and cautious and distrustful. We can see it in the way someone smiles, their eyes somewhat exuding a guarded vibe which begs the question “why can’t everyone be fucking sensitive?.” Sometimes I crave a world full of emotional train wreck individuals just so my arguments would be valid, however stupid or irrational they might sound. But ah, love.. No matter how little and sketchy we still try and catch it, just to feel some, and we give more than they take. It could last a while, but will hurt like a motherfucker.

romanticizing pain.

You were flawed and just beautiful.
I romanticized that thought for a while
as I wallowed on my insecurities,
there you were with so much pain and anger
to the world, I heard people say.
I could not quite comprehend how
that bright lit face could have something
grim and morbid behind it.
But I was drawn, inexplicably so.
You were gravitating towards me.
I carelessly chose my poison,
and surely you tasted like wine.

There were creeping thoughts,
much like mild screeches
upon my wooden floorboard.
But I slept well through the night,
thinking there’d be you
to look forward to in the morning.

Days turned to nights almost as quickly
as things have brought upon irreversible change.
One morning I woke up disoriented,
and a few mornings after that
with thoughts of you, your breath
and your warmth still upon my fingertips.
I can feel it but almost in a way
that seem distant and overpowering.

I could have drowned, I could still be drunk
and impulsive, but I chose to bail,
turn my back and walk barefoot towards
a maze of hidden chapters that
almost appeared like a book till
I walked and burned through its pages.